The Damned

"Smash It Up" / "Burglar" [Chiswick, 1979]

I’m afraid a great sadness—in the form of epic hardware failure—has come over the shire, and by "shire", I really mean Thunderdome, and by Thunderdome, I really mean "I need to do laundry don't come in here". I’ll be back if I can get this piece of shit I’ve been burning my records into for four years going again (unlikely), or buy a new computer (more likely). Until then, I’ll be sitting in a dark room, bathed in a sea of Windows-failure blue, crying. But not for the reason I’m usually in front of my computer crying, pants-less, and covered in Old Granddad.

Hit play for the last two mp3’s to escape the maw of my spiteful home computer which will now be sacrificed with a sledgehammer and its remains offered to my Roomba, “Sweepy” (I know!).

"Smash It Up"

"Burglar"

The Boys

“Weekend” / “Cool” [Safari, 1980]

I’m assuming the runner-up consideration for their sleeve art included a rebus depicting a scrawny man failing to left a 10lb dumb bell, then a plus sign, then a picture of the Earth on fire with the word Ragnarok across it; and on the B side, a picture of an anthropomorphic ice cube, wearing sunglasses, “chilling” (I could do this all day) poolside, and drinking from a coconut.

Hit play, and if your art department learns to stop being so literal, I’ll learn to go easy on the commas.

"Weekend"

"Cool"

The Victims

“Television Addict” / “I’m Flipped Out Over You” [bootleg copy… duh, 1977]

Wonder Woman, Three’s Company, Charlie’s Angels, One Day at a Time, AND Little House on the Prairie? Sounds like concerns over the ’77 TV lineup had less to do with “television addiction” (not recognized by experts at TV Guide as a medical disorder) and more to do with chronic mast… er, taking time away from family and homework. I don’t even know if they had those shows in Perth, but I really hope they had something better to battler their bikkies to than The Curiosity Show (not what it sounds like) and Simon Townsend's Wonder World (exactly what it sounds like).

Hit play for the tunes below, and start thinking of contigency plans for the next time there's a more than two hour gap between Law & Order epidsodes.

"Television Addict"


"I'm Flipped Out Over You"

The Lurkers

“New Guitar in Town” / “Little Ol' Wine Drinker Me” [Beggars Banquet, 1979]

This song could totally be about my life. Not so much the part about playing shows, or making girls cry, or being cool, but the part where the guitar is all “der ner ner der ner ner ner ner ner”, that part, that might as well be written about me. It’s uncanny.

Now hit play, or don’t, I make that sound by just walking anyhow.

"New Guitar in Town"

The Boys

"First Time" / "Watcha Gonna Do", "Turning Grey" [NEMS, 1977]


I remember it vividly: We’re 15 years old, and she has a couch in the basement. Her mom’s at work, and her brother, who’s usually home after school, is gone for the day. It’s just us, our teenage libidos, and HOLY SHIT YOU’VE GOT METROID FOR YOUR NES?!

I’ll be damned if we didn’t break that Power Pad. Does Samus look like she’s gaining weight to you? Oh shit. Hit play, below, for the tunes, and what’s the cheat again for it’s not mine?

"First Time"


"Turning Grey"

Pointed Sticks

"What Do You Want Me To Do?" / "Somebodies Mom" [Quintessence, 1978]


Released less than a decade after Canada’s bloody succession from the United Kingdom – the events documented by fellow Vancouverite Bryan Adams in his nationalistic ballad “The Summer of 69”, and was also the setting for Celine Dion’s 1991 (before she married a snowman) concept album The Only Good Limey’s a Dead Limey – this release finally hinted at the countries return to normalcy. Frustrations with love, life, and sex are the hallmark topics of a healing people, and this new “punk” music was a perfect distraction for the young masses whose economy was in a slump, culture was rapidly redefining itself, and whose law enforcement were still on horseback.

This is their first 45 on a local Vancouver label, but later they’d be the first Canadian band to sign to Stiff Records, record one complete studio album and last as long as 1981 before calling it quits – though enough material has been floating around to release a handful of great collections of their work. Hit play below for a reminder of a simpler time, a time exactly like it is today.

"What Do You Want Me To Do"


"Somebodies Mom"

Hello

“Another School Day” / “C’mon Get Together” [Bell, 1973]

These young ladies shouldn’t have been buried alongside glam also-rans like Mr. Touch Too Much (ew!) and Mud (suddenly, also ew!), and are probably more notable for putting out an LP wrapped in faux denim and doing an earlier version of a song Ace Frehley made famous - but whatever, I like hand claps, I like floor stomps, and I like feathered hair, so I’m saying this 45 rules.

Plus, they really tell it like it is on the issues. Who here is sick of school? Who here likes to party? Exactly. Those are the things mainstream music is afraid to talk about. You know, real life on the streets. You can put your [sucker punch!] hands down now [sorry, that’s what we call the old Barry Humphries how’sit’goin’]. Hit play and watch your back for truancy officers.

"Another School Day"


"C'mon Get Together"

Ian Fisher

“Girls Like That” / “It’s a Riot” [Monster Wax, 1979]

Recorded in beautiful Bothell, Washington - where incidentally I was sentenced to 5 years of Catholic school. (It was a bullshit charge… where the hell would an 8 year old get a hold of 10 pounds of C4, 100 rolls of toilet paper and a palette of Maine Wildflower Honey? You think the Bothell general store carries gourmet honey? We stole that shit in individual packs from the gas station, toilet paper too. I know it was the twins that did it - I’m talking to you Chris and Nathanial. Assuming I’ve grown up to be bigger than both of you, this isn’t settled.)

Anyhow, being 17 years old, drinking a 40 with a tie on, opening “It’s a Riot” with a shout-out to the MC5 in isolated 1979 Seattle, can’t imagine this 45 being any better. How about a sip of that 40? You're gonna want to put this one on the iPod, ‘cause Mickey’s taste better in the bushes, under a bridge, in the dark.

"It's a Riot"


"Girls Like That"