The Damned

"Smash It Up" / "Burglar" [Chiswick, 1979]

I’m afraid a great sadness—in the form of epic hardware failure—has come over the shire, and by "shire", I really mean Thunderdome, and by Thunderdome, I really mean "I need to do laundry don't come in here". I’ll be back if I can get this piece of shit I’ve been burning my records into for four years going again (unlikely), or buy a new computer (more likely). Until then, I’ll be sitting in a dark room, bathed in a sea of Windows-failure blue, crying. But not for the reason I’m usually in front of my computer crying, pants-less, and covered in Old Granddad.

Hit play for the last two mp3’s to escape the maw of my spiteful home computer which will now be sacrificed with a sledgehammer and its remains offered to my Roomba, “Sweepy” (I know!).

"Smash It Up"

"Burglar"

Headache

“Can’t Stand Still” / “No Reason for Your Call” [Lout Records, 1977]

I can only assume by the state of this sleeve that the guitarist has journeyed into the past and was unsuccessful in uniting his bandmate’s parents. Either that, or I’ve got better things to spend my money on (booze, Fun Dip, mostly) than 45’s with mint condition sleeves. You’re right, it’s both.

Hit play to hear the songs, and marvel in the diversity between the A and B sides. Is that even the same band?

“Can’t Stand Still"

“No Reason for Your Call”

The Vibrators

"Baby Baby" / "Into the Future" [Epic, 1977]

Attention teenage Ne're-do-wells of the Gas N Sip parking lot: Before taking any of his advice, be advised that if Lloyd Dobler had half a brain, he would’ve been serenading Diane’s bedroom window with this A-side. If, God forbid, you’re going to go all Peter Gabriel in someone’s front yard, consider hoisting a TV above your head and showing the video to either “Big Time” or “Sledgehammer”, instead. Not only are those videos awesome, and goddamn, you can hold a TV above your head, but you’ve also got an AC hookup in your Malibu [deal clincher!].

Hit play, and stop confusing Westlake Mall for Bellevue Square.

"Baby Baby"


"Into the Future"

The Boys

"First Time" / "Watcha Gonna Do", "Turning Grey" [NEMS, 1977]


I remember it vividly: We’re 15 years old, and she has a couch in the basement. Her mom’s at work, and her brother, who’s usually home after school, is gone for the day. It’s just us, our teenage libidos, and HOLY SHIT YOU’VE GOT METROID FOR YOUR NES?!

I’ll be damned if we didn’t break that Power Pad. Does Samus look like she’s gaining weight to you? Oh shit. Hit play, below, for the tunes, and what’s the cheat again for it’s not mine?

"First Time"


"Turning Grey"

The Jags

“Back Of My Hand” / “Double Vision” [Island, 1979]

Remember how I thought that Shari’s down off 405 in my hometown was a Denny’s, and how I always confused the dad from Empty Nest (and also Soap!) with the eagle from the Muppet Show? (hint: Richard Mulligan was white) Well, it shouldn’t come as any surprise that, at one time, this song was incorrectly filed in my brain as Elvis Costello. Whoops. Can you blame me though? You can? Is that what that smirk means? Take it easy on me, I just realized I’m not getting a Stuffed Hashbrown Platter outside the Northwest, that Sam the Eagle probably never lectured Kristy McNichol backstage, from his giant blue perch, about her cocaine use as I’d imagined he would have, and that no one knows what the hell I’m talking about.

But you know. You always do. That’s why you’re going to hit play, below. If you’re curious about the b-side, don’t be.

"Back of My Hand"