Monday, April 6, 2009


“That’s the Way a Woman Is” / “In the Jungle” [Rare Earth, 1971]

I’ve never seen Otsuka Pharmaceutical's 2005 commercial for their "Amino Supli” sports drink that they dusted this song off for, but I can pretty much guarantee is goes like this: Quick cuts of athletes or business people or chubby cats chugging various flavors of the drink during the “ah, ah ah, ahhh ah ah ah” part of the song, looking re-energized and refreshed. Then, when the song gets to “you wanna be mine”, roving bands of robot centuries appear, scanning for human survivors to either enslave or harvest (depending on their blood type - they’re obsessed with that over there), who’ve been surviving since The Great Overthrow on surplus Pocari Sweat, CalorieMate, and Abilify. It’s tough times everywhere, you’ve got to plug all your products. Seriously, those are all made by the same people.

By the last verse of the re-edited-for-the-30-second-spot song, in a sort of Harrisson-meets-Orwell twist, we see Tokyo’s last remaining free humans riding a conveyor belt into a tunnel with something written in Japanese above it. They are then injected with either orange, grapefruit, green tea or shrimp flavoring; liquefied, bottled, and consumed by Tokyo’s robot overlords [shown doing "human" activities like grocery shopping, working at desk jobs, smoking cigarettes, and drinking Amino Supli then mugging to the camera and stating "re-fresh-ing" in a Vocoder-drenched voice]—which, by my account, is a happy ending. The human race parishes, but I’m always relieved to see something produced in Japan where someone ISN'T raped by a cartoon octopus.

Hit play for the tunes below, and no master, these aren’t dryer vents I spray painted silver, these are my actual robot arms. Beep beep boob bop all hail Aibo. Am I right?

"That's the Way a Woman Is"


  1. The record is as genius as the review...

  2. I've seen the commerical. It's great. So is this blogg! Keep it up, it's the holy grail of mpfree bloggs.