Relevant Update! Sorta!

I haven't forgotten about this blog, I just haven't sorted out burning any new records in about, to use the most obvious metric, 30 fortnights.
I do, however, keep myself occupied with complete noneless still—and this time, it can be worn.

Come on over and check out the site I've made for my little side projects, especially if you enjoy Holiday shopping to some sweet tunes (hit the little cassette, you'll see).

Thanks all,
-Doug
www.gearcrisis.com

The Damned

"Smash It Up" / "Burglar" [Chiswick, 1979]

I’m afraid a great sadness—in the form of epic hardware failure—has come over the shire, and by "shire", I really mean Thunderdome, and by Thunderdome, I really mean "I need to do laundry don't come in here". I’ll be back if I can get this piece of shit I’ve been burning my records into for four years going again (unlikely), or buy a new computer (more likely). Until then, I’ll be sitting in a dark room, bathed in a sea of Windows-failure blue, crying. But not for the reason I’m usually in front of my computer crying, pants-less, and covered in Old Granddad.

Hit play for the last two mp3’s to escape the maw of my spiteful home computer which will now be sacrificed with a sledgehammer and its remains offered to my Roomba, “Sweepy” (I know!).

"Smash It Up"

"Burglar"

The Boys

“Weekend” / “Cool” [Safari, 1980]

I’m assuming the runner-up consideration for their sleeve art included a rebus depicting a scrawny man failing to left a 10lb dumb bell, then a plus sign, then a picture of the Earth on fire with the word Ragnarok across it; and on the B side, a picture of an anthropomorphic ice cube, wearing sunglasses, “chilling” (I could do this all day) poolside, and drinking from a coconut.

Hit play, and if your art department learns to stop being so literal, I’ll learn to go easy on the commas.

"Weekend"

"Cool"

Nick Lowe

“So It Goes” / “So It Goes” [Columbia, 1976]

It’s like those text messages you won’t delete from your phone. They say “I can’t wait to see you!” or “I miss you” or “I love you”. You keep them there to look at once in a while, they remind you that someone once, well, that things can be good, and maybe, they will be again. Besides, are you listening to this song? For the next 2 minutes, 29 seconds, things are pretty alright.

Now put this in your headphones, hit play, head on down to FoodsCo and start cruising for babes. Hey sweet thing, that debit or EBT? Not to be up in your business, but daddy’s fixin’ to get his credit score above 720.

"So It Goes"

Headache

“Can’t Stand Still” / “No Reason for Your Call” [Lout Records, 1977]

I can only assume by the state of this sleeve that the guitarist has journeyed into the past and was unsuccessful in uniting his bandmate’s parents. Either that, or I’ve got better things to spend my money on (booze, Fun Dip, mostly) than 45’s with mint condition sleeves. You’re right, it’s both.

Hit play to hear the songs, and marvel in the diversity between the A and B sides. Is that even the same band?

“Can’t Stand Still"

“No Reason for Your Call”

The Teens

“Give Me More” / “Twist is Back Again” [Hansa, 1979]

It’s hard to find much information on these West Berlin, Bay City Rollers-obsessed teens, but if my interpretation of their badly translated German Wikipedia page tells my anything, these guys were high school buddies that’d later be exploited by their label in an attempt to turn them into a sort of German Menudo-type group. Incidentally, I’d never follow a link titled “German Menudo” for fear of my retinas being permanently scared, sexually.

Speaking of burnouts, any of you spend as much time trolling Detroit-area auto ads for wheels as I do? Sure, it'd be a long haul across the country just for some new wheels, but ummmm Smokey and the Bandit, HELLOOOO. Oh, and you don’t really find the good stuff unless you spell “camero” [sic… totally] wrong. For example:

"CAR IS WICKED FAST!!!!!!!!!!! Flex-a-lite fan gear to gear timeing gears SOUNDS KOOL WINES LIKE ITS GOT A BLOWER! LOL"
http://detroit.craigslist.org/cto/1167287217.html

I'm not really sure what model is shown in the pic, but I’m extremely interested
http://detroit.craigslist.org/cto/1164598459.html

And predictably...

"THE CITY IS ON MY ASS"
http://detroit.craigslist.org/cto/1168389705.html

Hit play for the tunes, and can someone loan me $3,000 and the number of a guy that can airbrush a good Bea Arthur likeness? It’s time she gets the tribute she deserves. That Golden Girls Econoline that parks on my block doesn’t quite capture the esprit de corp those ladies really had with each other/cheesecake.

"Give Me More"

Apropos of having a sweet place to stay in Brooklyn, I'd like to thank Josh finding this first in a Dutch record store, which I think we all know is really code for "coffee shop".

The Victims

“Television Addict” / “I’m Flipped Out Over You” [bootleg copy… duh, 1977]

Wonder Woman, Three’s Company, Charlie’s Angels, One Day at a Time, AND Little House on the Prairie? Sounds like concerns over the ’77 TV lineup had less to do with “television addiction” (not recognized by experts at TV Guide as a medical disorder) and more to do with chronic mast… er, taking time away from family and homework. I don’t even know if they had those shows in Perth, but I really hope they had something better to battler their bikkies to than The Curiosity Show (not what it sounds like) and Simon Townsend's Wonder World (exactly what it sounds like).

Hit play for the tunes below, and start thinking of contigency plans for the next time there's a more than two hour gap between Law & Order epidsodes.

"Television Addict"


"I'm Flipped Out Over You"

Richmond

“Peaches (What’s It All About?)” / “Work for My Baby” [Dart, 1974]





What’re two 20-something Battersea vocational school teachers to do to find success (babes) but have a reverb-swathed go at the UK rock charts? More power to’em, Lord knows England still probably had a healthy appetite for this sort of stuff in 1974, and Lord knows my side projects don’t go anywhere.

Which reminds me: If I were to acquire a cat and start producing my own hilarious (and adorable, probably thee most adorable) cat videos, how would I go about making money from it? The only compensation for the millions of YouTube hits I’ll get will probably just be in the form of kudos, and kudos don't buy Professor Featherbottom cat food and tiny sunglasses, nor do they buy his owner bourbon, to drink, in his new house, which he bought with the money that rolled in after the world got a glimpse of “kitty keytarsonist”. Dreams, lets make this happen.

By the way, how much for one of those Japanese cats? Those always seem to be the funniest. Tunsis, I’m glad you couldn’t be here today to see this, and Keyboard Cat, consider yourself ripped-off.

Now hit play, and kitty, don't just jump out of the cardboard box when the baby runs by, really go for it. Remember, you HATE the baby. Got it?

"Peaches (What's It All About?)"


"Work For My Baby"

(P.S. I've got to give a nod to Robin's Purepop blog for turning me on to this 45, so head on over there and dig through the archives if you actually want some info. Not that what I wrote isn't 100% true, it always is.)

Todd Rundgren

"Couldn't I Just Tell You" / "Wolfman Jack" [Bearsville, 1972]

Hello it’s me. I know I made you wait a long, long time to hear this, but… I’m not really your father. That guy that looks like a coked-up Tyranosaurus Rex in a woman’s robe is, biologically. Yeah, him. Still, I think I’ve done a good job raising you so far. Who knows, one day you might help save the Shire from the clutches of darkness, or Alicia Silverstone from a pantless farmer? Love, Todd.

Hit play, and tell Tyler I’m still not giving him a production credit.

"Couldn't I just Tell You"

"Wolman Jack"

The Lurkers

“New Guitar in Town” / “Little Ol' Wine Drinker Me” [Beggars Banquet, 1979]

This song could totally be about my life. Not so much the part about playing shows, or making girls cry, or being cool, but the part where the guitar is all “der ner ner der ner ner ner ner ner”, that part, that might as well be written about me. It’s uncanny.

Now hit play, or don’t, I make that sound by just walking anyhow.

"New Guitar in Town"